Ripalo's Palace of Philosophy

test wulala

2011-04-19T18:26:00.002+08:00

Hmmm。。。here are the things I tested out。

1）Eating enormous amounts of chocolates do not make you feel better when you are emo. However, when I'm emo I really feel like eating lots of chocolates.
2) Alcohol = not a good way to emo.
3) Exercise feels better when you strain yourself.
4) Procrastinating is irritating.

Resolution.

2011-04-17T20:38:00.002+08:00

My problem is that I do not know how to stick to something. I'm not consistent enough. I don't stick to my points long enough. And I definitely have less resolution than the average.

I will be more resolute over the next second of my life. It is already time to be an adult. The lives of relaxing and a boy are basically nearing and end and my survival depends on what I do now. It's time to stop watching pps. Time to stop pondering over useless amount of emails and information. Time to study more. Time to socialize more. Time to be more disciplined and maintain a self control policy. Time to grow up.

My new resolute. Is to become more resolute.

Rubbish

2011-03-26T17:31:00.003+08:00

I saw a man collecting recyclable tins from the rubbish bin of a house nearby. To be honest, I am extremely happy that at least some people here ACTUALLY try to save the world. Compared to those people who burn rubbish/grass around the Senadin Area, they are saints dressed in rags.

I know there are monetary benefits for them by collecting tin cans etc, but at least they are doing something good. Crime rate in Miri has increased with the recent rape/murder case of a secondary school student who wanted to get her SPM results as the best example. If people collect trash to reuse it from my rubbish bin, I definitely have no objections.

Thing is, I would seriously seriously appreciate it if they could put the rubbish they dug out, back into the rubbish bin after they have finished searching for recyclable stuff.

Anyway, thats all. And good luck to me and eric on the cleaning business. I have a few plans on expanding it but will see how things go before I approach eric.

Barbarians

2011-01-22T21:11:00.003+08:00

I was notified of the Karam Singh issue which has been a hot debate recently.

Apparently he made a remark which was reported on the news wrongly, and then went into a Malay store and again accidentally say something wrong. Then he was forced by the malays there that were angered to apologize.

First of all, after seeing the video I found the most annoying thing is the attitude of the people there. They act like they are seriously going to beat him and his nephew up. And all of them cowards ganging up towards 2 guys who are not at all fit to fight. Seriously, what is up with the people these day? Haven't we gone past the fighting stage long ago? Isn't it taught in Islam that we should control our actions?

They had the other options...
1) Clarify with that man what he said. If he really said something offending, tell him and ask him to apologize. If he doesn't want, then make a police report and sue him. He's a public figure, it would be quite easy to pull him down.
2) Tell Mr. Karam why you don't agree.
3) Just leave the scene. None of your business what people are talking about. If they are wrong, just take them as stupid people having their own opinions. After all, when a mentally unstable person speaks, you ignore him right...do you actually degrade yourself and go hit him?

Out of all the options, the people in that store had to act like barbarians and be so violent. I really don't have any facts to back me, but I have never seen or heard in a Chinese store any violent stuff happening that involved shouting at people, threatening them, and gladly recording it. It's worse than public beating.

This is not the first time I've known of truly irrational people. Another time was in a Shell station. I was waiting behind a motor for sometime. This Malay guy took his helmet and swung it extremely hard at the attendant. If the attendant did not move away fast, he would have been hit and most probably bleed. And it was all because the attendant was moving slowly. Even if it was for other reasons, there's still no excuse to hit him at all.

Not that I have a thing against Malays (I work in a place where the Malays are smart, civilised, and really friendly), but do you see violent protests and people beating up people who ask the Chinese to go back to China? Most protests that you see never even involve a public humiliation like what they did in the Malay store.

Anyway, I'm saying that ALL MALAYSIANS should learn to be more civilized and stick to using a pen and their mouth. By using violence, your just showing how shallow and low you are. It proves that you have no brains so you resolve to your muscles.

About complains

2010-12-15T15:31:00.003+08:00

One thing about complains is that if you don't make it a big issue, no one pretty much bothers.

For example, drivers are dangerous. I wrote a few sms-es to lpkp but was sad that they did not response even after the 3 day grace period.

Then that day I saw 3 buses, 2 of them speeding. Both of them tailgating me. I made up my mind. Fuck them. Then I took the plate numbers down. And decided not to write to LPKP only. Lets write to everyone! So I wrote to newspapers, police, lpkp, ministry of tourism, and of course the bus companies involved. And huala, next day when it was in the newspapers, I started receiving emails and calls. =).

So you see, complains are about going through the right channels AND making it big. Going thru the right channels alone, may not be good enough.

z

2010-11-08T21:54:00.001+08:00

I feel really stressed. Never felt like this before. Suddenly I just cannot study at all. Just feel tired and pressured. Can't sleep can't study, can't think.

Examszzzz

2010-11-03T19:26:00.001+08:00

Exams coming up. time to study all those that I havent studied for the whole semester.

toss

2010-10-25T11:37:00.002+08:00

I tossed to make a decision. And I have to stick to it. I just hope it is the right one. This time, I prayed hard, and I really hope this is a correct choice. It has to be the correct choice. I suddenly realized how much other things value.

OO

2010-10-24T19:45:00.002+08:00

Life will be better and better. So difficult to decide which road to take. I'm so worried the road I take is wrong. I know the road I take now, will change the way I live my life. Hopefully, I will be able to decide. And life will be better and better.

2010-09-12T16:30:00.000+08:00

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armor
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you to spite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...

Consumer Rights

2010-09-02T16:52:00.003+08:00

I had a friend who had a problem with her spectacles and she was asked to pay more and more for new lens. This is due to the lack of knowing our own rights as a consumer. Certain groups of salespersons are clever at trying to manuever themselves towards more profit. For example giving discount for upgrades on low quality purchases.

As a consumer, we have the right to obtain a full refund if the product purchased doesn't function as promised.

Just for your info on consumer right, you can visit this website (its in malay language)

He said consumers should utilise the facility provided by the tribunal. “Last year 6,491 cases were brought up nationwide, with some 97 cases having been settled,” he said.
Of the total, 44% were solved through withdrawal of complaints after both sides agreed to settle their cases outside the tribunal, 32 % through awards after the complainants won cases, 16% through negotiations and some 3% rejected. - Bernama

And additional information is that you just need to pay RM5 to open up a case, don't even need a lawyer, and you can start your case. And 97% of the time, you gain back your right as a consumer.

Alamat: No 1D-1, Bangunan SKPPK, Jalan SS 9A/17,
Sungai Way, 47300 Petaling Jaya, Selangor.

Telefon: 03-7876 2009/ 7875 6362/ 7875 6370

Faks: 03-7877 1076

E-Mel: urusetia@mypengguna.com

complicated-ness

2010-08-12T15:35:00.002+08:00

I feel happy blogging from my phone now. did nt know how useful my phone is on these kind of boring situations.

My handphone.

2010-05-12T02:51:00.003+08:00

I like my handphone alot.

It has been for more than 5 years since I have used my handphone.

It's battered, had to change a few parts, but I'm still sticking on to it. For a reason I can't find. It's just the feel.

One day, I will let go of my handphone. I won't pick it up when I see it, I won't even think of it. That way, I wouldn't be so sad that about my old handphone. I will let the old handphone disappear forever and never bother it again.

One day....one day.

relax

2010-04-28T22:54:00.001+08:00

feel really tensed abt exams, and really relaxed abt the other stuff going on in my head.

2010-04-26T15:14:00.002+08:00

Some things really come as a spur. They come when you least expect them. They rush at you when you have other things to do. They push you to your limits. =).

I like life. Life brings you surprises. All the time. Sometimes good luck arrives and suddenly you see your neighbourhood pauper become one of your father's bosses. Sometimes bad luck arrives and you notice that all goes down, and they don't seem to ever stop.

I believe in experience. it's good to learn, to know what people learned through blood and sweat without having to go through it. But can it be said that you understand it? without even experiencing it? After all, the one to experience it wasn't you.

Amin brought to my head lots of thoughts. One of the most critical thing that I just noticed I'm lack off. Do I know myself well? I never thought of that before. All I thought of was how to know other people, read them, stuff like that. And now I have to think of, who am I actually, and what do I really wana do with this life of mine. Sometimes even I myself am surprised by my subconscious reactions which are so totally out of range.

Self discovery has actually been going on for 2 weeks. Do I really wana be a civil engineer? Do I really want to give my life to earning money? Seriously, What Do I Want? I guess all the JCLA just did not train me for this kind of thing.

My head swarms with different thoughts, trying to search for myself. But somehow I don't tend to be able to do it. Thats so freaking sad. =(. But there's no time for self pity here. Nor is there the space for it.

I really should get my life going now. I have been moping, emoing and doing freaking newbish stuff throughout the day. Life SUCKS. I mean, this 2 weeks of not attending lectures, skipping classes, last minute studying SUCKS. I don't wana do this kind of thing anymore. I have no time for that.

From today onwards, not tomorrow, I am going to do the things I started out with. I have to do them. And I have to complete them like I promised.
1) Study
2) JCLA
3) Sports

I'm going back to secondary school discipline level, which is surprisingly better than now.
Arsehole Ripalo, go away and hide up in your small hole over that corner.

~

2010-04-26T11:49:00.002+08:00

WooHoo~...

Finally food fair event was executed successfully. WooHoo~

Lazy post pictures though. =P

Thanks to all the volunteers that so willingly helped out during the event.

You were there when we needed you. =).

Woohoo

2010-03-27T09:20:00.005+08:00

Today is the first day of my Holiday! Yay!

So early early I went for jogging with VCF guys. Finish running 2 rounds campus in 6 mins 20 sec. Jackson and Jasper finished it in 5 mins. =P. So fast lo~

Anyway, today we are going out with the mexican backpacker friend Amin knew on9. Later going for trekking. Haha. Going to lose weight this holiday. If possible, 0.5kg would also be okay.

Then we got Structural test and Fluids test and also Civil Camp. Last years civil camp was boring for me. Lets see how it will turn out this time. =).

Well I was riding on my motorbike and the feeling was great. Not the bike, but the feeling of the wind hitting against your body hair. LOL. They pull your hair when you go like 80km/h. And at 100km/h. the feeling is jz heavenly. I mean you really feel like your flying. =). And yes, the adrenaline was nice.

Still into jason derulo songs.

Don't understand why I'm so happy these days. Don't know what changed in the environment but suddenly, I'm old me. for now. Haha. Dun care how ppl look at me. =). For all I care, it's my life I'm living. not theirs.

Open Sesameh!!

2010-03-23T23:46:00.002+08:00

They say that when one door closes, others open. Well, I beg to differ. Doors don't just open like that. They open only when you take an effort to open them or maybe just to notice them.

Even if one door closes and you don't make an effort to find for another door, no door will appear. Wishing and hoping that door will open, won't help either. You need to move your butt.

There was a saying I heard (though I'm not Christian)
"God helps those who help themselves"

Come. Let us walk towards that door, open it together, and a new path will appear. And the door that just closed behind? Well, let's just leave it there, and make it, a lesson learnt, and never repeated again. =).

Solace

2010-03-21T23:00:00.002+08:00

Loved this poem and decided to share with all you guys. =)

Evening Solace by Charlotte Bronte

The human heart has hidden treasures,
In secret kept, in silence sealed;
The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures,
Whose charms were broken if revealed.
And days may pass in gay confusion,
And nights in rosy riot fly,
While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion,
The memory of the Past may die.

But, there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish,
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly backa faded dream;
Our own sharp griefs and wild sensations,
The tale of others' sufferings seem.
Oh ! when the heart is freshly bleeding,
How longs it for that time to be,
When, through the mist of years receding,
Its woes but live in reverie !

And it can dwell on moonlight glimmer,
On evening shade and loneliness;
And, while the sky grows dim and dimmer,
Feel no untold and strange distress
Only a deeper impulse given
By lonely hour and darkened room,
To solemn thoughts that soar to heaven,
Seeking a life and world to come.

Just tired.

2010-03-18T17:44:00.003+08:00

Zzz. Feeling so darn emo these days. Krankiness level going up and i have a feeling that I'm annoying people around me.

Stess level piling up.
JCLA have to take care of seminar, partially food fair, and also the most headache one, finding volunteers.
Then met up with Lion's Club, and still thinking how should I actually go on.
Seminar in a mess, all things are delayed. I think if I get too tired of waiting for them to make a move, I may really do it all by myself. It's easier, and more efficient. Except for the fact I swore to myself, that I'd let them do it. Perhaps I should learn more patience.

Food fair wise lots of tickets unsold. Just kao dim 2000 books to Lion's or Leo but kind of expect them to return 500 books. If they don't, I'd be extremely surprised, and grateful of their work.

Next up would be the academic problems. Farking just feel like sleeping during classes. The only class I feel my slow mind can catch up to is most probably Structural. At least she goes personal to each person rather than just blabber away and ignoring us. And yes, I know it's spoon feeding on a different degree.

Then comes the issue that have been bugging me for months. Tried to let it go, and I think I will. I must! Thanks to everyone's encouragement, I feel I have already been able to do it consciously, though not unconsciously.

I know I'm taking things more and more serious than they should be.

Just like how someone took my phone and I was really pissed off. Ah, just so childish of me to just vent off my anger at that time. But I'm no robot. And I felt better after that.

This brings me back to the night I went clubbing in Miri. Drunk. That feeling of venting out was perhaps all the feelings pent up for the last 4 months. Somehow, something tells me that I'm going to drink again tonight. Feel really fucked up from all the fucked up-ness.

And now I'm passing all the emo-ness to the people who read this post.

New phone

2010-03-17T16:23:00.000+08:00

I lose my phone so I bought a new one (rm99). No use pondering over how and when I will get that phone back. Called the number. It rang, but then it closed. meaning someone chap and threw away the sim card. I know that because the battery should be quite full.

Dang. Now I got to message all my JCLA members (almost 30) that that number is temporarily not available.

I guess a stop at Digi should solve all my problems. The only thing that sucks is wasting my 1 hour and also my money and my petrol. Fuck losing my handphone. Just hate it.

Go Go Go

2010-03-17T00:21:00.002+08:00

Letting go seems to be hard. But the fruit i find at the end of the road will be sweet or so they say.

These months all the effort won't go to waste. I will pursue on and on and on. Fighting for the blind, and temporary leaving everything else behind my back. Let it rot there. And after I'm finished with the blind, I will burn it with a crackling fire and ensure it's gone for good.

Time is going by so much faster than I, and I tell myself I will regret if I use it to do useless things like mop over the same matter over and over again.

Life is like a stage, and one day, the character that felt, has to climb back up.

Time to let go, and time to mean what is said.

Ruthless, and remorseless.

A dance

2010-03-10T23:59:00.003+08:00

Thy thinking that I don't know is a wrong of yours.
Me thinking that I know is a wrong of mine.

Thy estimating my movement is a correct step.
Me estimating thy estimating and going right into it is also a correct step.

Thy feeling I feel happy is thy mistake.
Me bluffin' me happy is also my mistake.

The world of acts flies around like it has been since the centuries of Shakespear.
人生是戏剧，戏剧是人生。

Loony Tunes

2010-03-09T18:06:00.002+08:00

You know the cartoons looney tunes? The one where bugs bunny runs all over the place?

Oh well, I saw one looney tunes cartoon today. And it came across my mind. Do cartoons really depict the world as how it should be? Do any movies even depict the real world?

To this I would say yes. Yes that the world is similar to cartoons and yes things in movies really occur in real life. Deja Vu incident? My new assumption is that it actually occurs because you watched a movie. This may sound like brat who is crapping about worldly theories no other scientist have discovered, but lo and behold, look whos laughing after 1 century.

Have you ever seen blacky the ugly bald bunny? It's actually a very powerful character. The story was of a dulll and lonely bald bunny, (i repeat bald bunny) trying its best to kill everyone around him. Occasionally, he would even kill his peers. Just for fun.

On the other hand, whitey the handsome hairy turtle was one of the weakest character. He would always be spared by blacky the ugly bald bunny but would always be bullied and tortured. He tries his best to help his friends, but to no avail. 泥菩萨过江，自身难保。

In the end, what happened was that some guy called Zhi Zhong came along and made them friends. And they lived happily ever after. Yay!

Now, after reading this article, whenever something similar happens, you will call it a deja vu. Truth is, you got that deja vu through my blog.

Cheers.

I know I'm lame. These days I'm so lame I feel like doing nothing but writing and writing to all of my blogs.

B-club

2010-03-07T09:27:00.002+08:00

Went clubbing for the first time yesterday. Hmmmm, what should I say first?
1) What I feared really happened?
2) The experience itself?
3) Lesson

Oh well, lets start with the experience.

The first thing when I got there was to notice the environment in this club called Balcony. Really like the sound quality and design etc compared to Penang. Somehow, Penang has more hot girls? (I'm not one to complain though. Just making a comparison). Well, we drank J.D and apparently for the first half an hour, there was no effect and I was still my emo self. Tried to dance, but...couldn't.

Then after 1 hour, the liquor started to have an effect on my body. My body just felt so hot and uncomfortable that I really had to move around and around and around. However, Lik had a curfew to fulfill and I was glad of it.

Now lets continue with the fear part.

When we were going back, I just had this weird urges of getting violent. Not dead end and logically violent, just expressly violent. I just don't get it why. Then I started swinging my arms around. I was unable to complete the 3-arm-swing but somehow 1 of my arms landed at Amin softly. Haha.

You guessed right, I was worried I would be violent. And unable to control what I would be saying. When drunk, I would be out of control.

Anyway, the rest of the story gets more and more embarassing when I think of it. And so, it's not going to be out here. But I think I will rmb the story for maybe half a year?

3) Then comes the part of lessons

Never drink more than 15 shots of J.D.
Try other drinks to get limit.
Balcony could earn a nett profit of RM2k on non-weekdays night (if calculated including triads, utilities, rent, and workers pay)

I will

2010-03-06T13:44:00.002+08:00

I WILL :
1) FOCUS ON JCLA AND MY STUDIES AND NOTHING ELSE.
2) TRY TO REDUCE EVERY KIND OF SORROW I HAVE WITH WORK WORK WORK.
3) TRY TO FUCK MYSELF UP AS BAD AS POSSIBLE TILL I REALLY "WAKE UP"
4) STOP THINKING ABOUT EMO THINGS. FOCUS ON FUCKING MY LIFE UP WITH WORK.

Gambling

2010-02-19T00:31:00.002+08:00

Today I learned how to gamble.

Apparently, to enjoy the full experience of gambling, you need to feel the thrill of it. It should be like smoking cigarettes. Once you start, you never stop cause your addicted to it.

Before I learned the rules of gambling, I used to play fast. C

The way "the people who taught me how to enjoy gambling" taught me was to not take the cards and just calculate to see whether you have achieved blackjack. Instead, you have to play with the suspense and slowly, very slowly, see your card, while wishing you got that number.

Before I learned the rules of gambling, I used to play fast. My logic was simple, no matter how slow you look at your card/reveal your card, you still get the same card. The value of the card won't change from 2 to 3. Gambling depends 99% on your luck, and the 1% skill won't affect much anyway. I wanted to play fast so I could earn back the money I lost.

After applying the "gambling method", I found totally no fun in the game. It was slow, and unthrilling. And after 5 games, I suddenly noticed the reason. I was betting on too small an amount. RM1 is too little. Putting in RM5, now now, that was interesting. You risk losing a max of RM10 and may also earn RM10.

Perhaps when gambling, we should find the thrill, by knowing actually what kind of $$ is enough to excite us.

Till then, I will perhaps continue to gamble till CNY is over.

To those of you I have never wished CNY to, HAPPY CNY!!!

Dota oh Dota.....

2010-01-25T16:46:00.001+08:00

To my dear friends who love DOTA so much......

From NG-YH. A story to share for DOTA lovers. XD

Dota比赛中场休息，我忙里偷闲用Msn聊天，
这个时间，没有几个人在线，
我与其中的一个女孩聊得来，她告诉我她叫诺儿，
我说我叫宝宝。这当然不是我的真名，只不过这样更容易哄女孩子。
诺儿给我的感觉很单纯，很可爱，她总是呵呵的傻笑。   
我今年22岁，他们都说我有病，放着好好的工作不干，去打什么专业Dota，可我是一个自由散漫惯了的人，父母自有高额退休金，我住着自己的公寓。我热爱Dota，我的理想是亚洲冠军，为了它，我可以放弃一切。
我发现诺儿上网很有规律，而我也喜欢和她胡吹乱侃，别的我不敢说，哄小女生我最在行，尤其是诺儿这种单纯的。我喜欢气她，我总说她傻，她就回给我一个气呼呼的小脸，其实我是想说她傻的可爱。
  
他们说我是网上的害虫，因为我总是哄骗网上的小姑娘走到现实中来做我的女朋友，新鲜劲过了之后在SAY白白。我不是自夸我长得多么帅，我只是在陈述事实。
我知道时机到了，我对诺儿说：“我们见面吧！”在此之前，我已经在网上叫她一个多月的老婆了。

我坐在KFC等她，心中暗自祈祷她不要太恐龙。9点整，一个女孩推门而进，她似乎是披着阳光进来的，好耀眼的光芒，那一刻我以为我见到了天使。
我呆呆地看者她在我对面坐下，她梳着两条小辫子，额前的碎发泛着点点的光晕，我闻得到她身上力士香皂和苹果沐浴乳的味道，她未施粉黛的脸上还带着点稚气。  

“你是诺儿？”我问她。  
 
她咬着可乐吸管“恩”了一声。  

“你成年了吗？”我怎么感觉自己跟诱骗未成年人一样呢？  
 
诺儿听了这话，抬起头盯者我，她的眼睛很大，她特认真地说：“我下个月就过二十岁生日了。”  
 
我不知道这个世界上有没有一见钟情，但我知道我对诺儿的这种感觉是从未有过的，很强烈，也很独特。我不知道这个比喻是否恰当，但我就是觉得她像个粉嫩嫩的
草莓蛋糕，可爱到让人想咬却又舍不得。我就像被施了法术一般，话都有些说不连贯，恍惚之中，看到她朝我微笑，阳光溢出来，溅落，星星点点。  
 
我用尽了一切我所能想得出的方法才算把她“骗”到手，在我牵起她的手的那一刻，我告诉自己，她是我的女人，一个我要保护的女人。

我照例天天打Dota，但没忘了上msn和她聊天，偶尔在泡几个MM，我几乎天天都能收到她的留言：“宝宝你要乖，不要泡MM，天冷要加衣。”  
 
我们战队顺利地进入了前八强，今天是总决赛，午休，我看着干巴巴的饭盒，没有丝毫食。走出赛区，看见大门口蹲坐着一个熟悉的身影，走过去看是诺儿。我拍拍
她，她显然吓了一跳，见是我，舒了一口气，把一个保温饭煲递到我手里。我接过后，她慌忙把手藏到身后，可是我还是看见她手上被烫的水泡。 

盒里的饭有点凉了，我问她：“等很久了了？”  
 
“对啊，你手机关掉了。”她嘟着嘴。  
 
“不是告诉你不要来嘛。来，让老公抱抱，累了吧？”我有点心疼。 

“我不来你又饿肚子，你一点都不乖，还挑食。”  
 
我吃着盒里的饭，诺儿坐在我身边，紧张地问：“好吃吗？好吃吗？”我大口大口的扒着饭，说实话，挺难吃的，可是我能想象得出这个连袜子都不会洗的女孩是怎
样笨手笨脚地为我做第一顿饭。心中是久违了的感动。我笑着说：“老婆的爱心午餐当然好吃了，你看我不是全部都吃光了吗？
 
诺儿听了一脸满足地笑着，站起来就走。  
 
“宝贝你去哪儿啊？”我问她。  
 
“回家呗。“  
 
“别急，我带你去一个地方。”我把她领进赛区，我从没领女孩儿见过朋友，更别说是赛区。队友们见到诺儿都好奇极了，“小嫂子、小嫂子”地叫着，弄得她脸蛋都通红的，队友们都跑来跟我打趣，我心里明白，我是真的爱上她了。

msn上，我问她，“诺儿，你嫁给我好吗？” 
她还是呵呵地傻笑，“好啊。以前别人说什么要娶我，我觉得特恐怖，但是我现在突然想嫁人了。”  嗯，诺儿，相信我，等我攒够钱让你做最风光的新娘，我们就结婚。  

虽然我们队没有拿到第一，但对于我们这支刚组成不久的队伍来说，全省第二的成绩已经是非常好的了，所以我决定继续努力，非打第一不可。

Dota的比赛越来越多，我也越来越忙，我忘了多久没想过诺儿了，我总是比赛到很晚，偶尔在msn上看到她，她也总是很沉默，我不知道她怎么了。现在想起来，才知道是自己不对，因为我从来没有关心过她是不是开心，过得好不好。  

一天，

她说：“你能陪我说会话吗？”  
我说：“不行啊，我现在在联系比赛正在等电话。而且马上要开赛了。”  
“就一会儿也不行吗？”  
“诺儿乖。” 

”
“Dota对你来说真的很重要吗？” 

“是。”  

“那我呢？难道我就一点不重要吗？” 

“也重要。” 

“那我和Dota哪个更重要呢？”  

“Dota。”我没有骗她。  
 
很久，她的msn头像都没有再晃动。  
几天后，我看到她给我的留言：“我不知道能不能等到自己比dota更重要的那一天了，以后你要照顾好自己．．．．．．”我觉得她像是在说傻话，没看完就关了msn。

几个月后，打完dota回到家已经是精疲力竭了，倒在床上一动不想动。这时手机响起来，我不想接，可它却响个没完没了。我一看是诺儿的号，就没好气地接起来说：“不是叫你这几天别打电话给我吗？你不知道我有多累……” 

电话那一端传来一阵怒吼：“……你他 [ 粗话自动过滤系统 ] 还算不算是男人啊？”  

不是诺儿，我一愣，“你谁呀你？”

“你甭管我是谁，明天诺儿出殡，你要也算个人，就来看她最后一眼。” 

诺儿？出殡？什么跟什么呀？我还想再问下，电话戛然挂断。  

忽然一股恐怖感占据了我，我拼命的回拨，很久才有人接起来，是个很苍老的声音，“你找……”  

“诺儿呢？”  
“她……不在了……”声音里明显带着哭腔。
 
我的脑袋轰的一下，难道，诺儿她真的出事了？  
哪天，我看见诺儿被他们抬了出来，她脸上还带着微笑，可天使般的微笑再也泛不出光晕了，诺儿的朋友看我的眼神分明是仇视的，恨不得吃了我。诺儿的妈妈告诉
我，诺儿有血小板减少症，家里人什么都不让她做，生怕她不小心弄破了手指或是什么地方，血流不止。原以为治好了，可后来不知怎的，血小板又突然下降，心脏
功能也开始衰竭。前几天她突然精神很好，我们都明白那意味着什么，她说她想听听你的声音，打电话给你，可是关机，她说你一定在比赛呢。有人说去找你，可诺
儿不让，她说比赛对你很重要，她怕你生气，说着说着自己就哭了，我们也都跟着哭，她说肯定有一天你会明白，她比dota重要，可她等不到了……诺儿妈妈有抹起
眼泪来。 
我靠在医院太平间的墙上，想哭没泪。
我好几天没打dota了，呆呆地看着诺儿的msn形象，自从诺儿走了以后，我整个人好像被抽走了力量。身和心都特别疲惫。 
我打开诺儿的msn才知道，里面只有我一个人的号。

我注意到她的资料里有一个网址，打开是个心情驿站，有各种各样的故事，其中有篇文章的署名是诺儿。 

我最近很不开心，我喜欢听他说话，可他却连话都不愿意和我说了，因为他很忙，他要打dota。他再也不叫我小傻瓜了，他从没说过爱我，也没送过花给我，可我还是喜欢他。

有一天我告诉他江边涨水了，他说以后陪我看，我很高兴。有一天我看见一只很可爱的小狗，他答应我，我们以后也会有一只，也叫诺儿，我很高兴。他说过几天陪我去看电影，放风筝，我特别开心，虽然这些都还没有实现，我相信总有一天会的。但我恐怕等不了那么久了。 
他说dota比我重要，我没生气，因为这是实话，可是我很伤心，所以我偷偷地哭了。我想我还不够坚强，我做的还不够好，医生说我过不到下一个生日了，也就是4月4日，他还不知道我的生日呢！不过这也没关系。
我又虚弱了，刚打了几个字就很累，真的很没用。  

我知道他有很多女朋友，这样也好，我走了，他不会伤心，虽然我是那样想嫁给他，我一直盼他送我玫瑰，哪怕只一支，以前有很多人送我，可我没收，因为那代表
爱情，我想我可能等不到他送我的那一天了，所以我偷偷买了一朵送给自己，我想我写什么他永远都看不见了，所以我可以随心所欲地敲打文字，我刚才打电话给
他，但他关机了。那个讨厌的声音一直重复‘对不起，您拨打的电话已关机’。我好想，真的好想再和他说说话，哪怕就一分钟，听听他的声音也好，我们好久都没
见面了，我每天都好想他。真没出息，又哭了，唉，其实我真的好放心不下他，他玩游戏时间长了眼睛会疼，我买了眼药水却没法给他，还有，他挑食……” 

文章没有写完，想是她累了，结尾有一个FlasLASH，我点击Play，
优雅的声音在空空的房间里回荡。 

“静静地陪你走了好远好远/
连眼睛红了都没有发现/
听着你说你现在的改变/看着我依然最在你的笑脸/
这条旧路依然没有改变/以往的每次路过都是晴天/
想起我们有过的从前/泪水就一点点开始蔓延……每当我闭起眼/
我总是看见/
你的诺言全部都会实现/
我亲过你的脸/你已经不在我身边/
我还是祝福你过的好一点/ 断开的情线/我不要做断点/只想杂睡前听见你的蜜语甜言……”  

*断点- 张敬轩 Hins Cheung’s Song Lyrics*

Flash制作得有点粗糙，可我那憋了很久的眼泪还是滴了下来，画面的结尾还有一行行的小字。
 
“想听你说爱我，一声也好； 
想接受你送的玫瑰，一朵也好； 
想再多点时间爱你，哪怕只一天； 
可是现在，我的手都已经好颤抖，好想再见你一面。”

我一个人做在漆黑的房间里，终于大哭起来，我就那样错过了你，我最爱的女人，还来不及宠你，还来不及实现诺言，还来不及让你做我最美丽的新娘。
该死的dota，我连你最后一面都没见上，我真该死。
是的，我终于明白了你是最重要的，可惜你不能在等我了。  
 
今年清明没下雨，我放弃了dota，做了白领，我一定会要你做我最风光的新娘。 
“生日快乐，小傻瓜。” 
每日礼拜我都会来这里，我只想和你说说话，纯白饿墓碑宛如你的纯洁。微风像你的发丝轻佛过我的脸，想念我那依然最爱的你的笑脸。 
朋友、家人都惊讶于我的改变，我不抽烟了，不打dota了，不上网了，养了一只和你一样可爱的小狗，像当初我们说好的那样，叫它诺儿，我只想再和你说说话，再送你最美的玫瑰。

Of Religion and Economy

2010-01-09T09:02:00.003+08:00

You know its really damn funny about the article on the use of "Allah" only by Muslims. I mean, why can that word be only used by Muslims? Because it's sacred.

I mean, come on, that particular guy who used that word probably did not mean any harm, and Muslims should be glad that he even mentioned it up. That means he recognizes the presence of Allah. =\.

Anyway, everyone should really get a hold of themselves. Muslims burning down churches using molotov cocktails. *shakes head* Not cool guys. Police not arresting anyone? yeah....not cool too.

Ahya. but in this kind of society. Live with it la. Buddhist and Christians should be cleverer than this. If you know they don't like it, don't do it la. You know they don't like you to use the word "allah" yet you use it. =\.

And ain't it the very basis of all religions that teaches us to instill harmony?

So we know the Muslims don't like the use of word "allah" by other religions and so we say it out loud for them to hear.

So the Muslims don't try to explain to you properly and just burn down churches? Wow....extremist really are AGAINST the basis of religion.

So to those stupid few bastards out there who say they fight for their "religion", you are just finding something to do. Fuck off, stop this stupid business, and perhaps try to focus on the current economy.

It's so freaking hard to do business that even my head is cracking. Everyone thinks alot more abt money than last time, and we still have fcking extremist wasting time on A WORD than spending time contributing towards the economy of our country.

Wake up.....time to wake up.

*All religions based on the few particular people that try to politicize this business

Paranormal Activity

2010-01-03T02:23:00.002+08:00

Paranormal Activity is one of the best movies I have ever seen. It was acted by perfect actors. I mean perfect. I thought the whole movie was real until Jrong told me that it was fiction.

The only SLIGHTLY unreal feel is the the boyfriend who took his camera everywhere. I mean....who the heck tried to film a demon? I would just run run and keep on running. Not shooting videos of it.....=\. But then...the actors were really perfect.

Anyway.....to those who dunno this movie. Below is the plot.

After a young, middle class couple moves into a suburban 'starter' tract house, they become increasingly disturbed by a presence that may or may not be somehow demonic but is certainly most active in the middle of the night. Especially when they sleep. Or try to.

or.....u can read the full synopsis here.

I was so freaked out by the scene that the normal I which would walk back home to Curtin at 12.30 in the morning is scared till he dares not walk around his house in the dark temporarily.

I guess it just freaks me out.......=\. Especially the 2nd last part where she is dragged out. Her screamings were soooo real and her bf's urgency was soooooooo......*speechless*.

Great movie. Those who aren't afraid of horror movies MUST watch this movie. =\

HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO BE A SURVIVOR

2009-12-21T01:06:00.002+08:00

You know....its been some time since I've blogged. Caused by many factors such as....

1) Bringing Curtin friends around Penang.
2) Going out to find a job but failed.
3) Doing some practical work with my boss on solar systems.
4) Going out for exercise with Penang friends.
5) Finding for a new handphone (Nokia 5800) but then still cannot decide whether want to buy or not.
6) Trying to lose weight but it seems that Penang has alot to offer and I have alot to miss out. XD.
7) Some family time perhaps.
8) Learn motorcycle. (a failure really)

ANyway....it just passed through my head early this morning.

Todays topic. HOW FAR AM I WILLING TO BE A SURVIVOR.

Scenario : Jungle XD.
Time : 1 whole day liao...
Situation : Alone. And tired. And scared. (maybe of ghost. XD)

So....would i drink my pee if I can't find water? I mean....if I'm so nervous and I forget that my main source of liquid is my pee and I just drain it by a tree. GG lo~~~

Would i be able to survive in a jungle for 1 day? I would have dehydration and lack of food and lack of morale. What should I do.

Actually....I can't think of what to do lei. Let me just go to sleep. Maybe after I really get lost in a jungle then only I regret not finding out what to do when I'm lost. After all, I got all the time I need. XD

Life

2009-12-02T09:02:00.002+08:00

I was inactive for a few days. Kind of busy doing stuff like finding jobs online + more. Even part time jobs seem hard for me to find these days. =S. Maybe because both parties are picky. I want a high pay, they want someone who will stay more than 3 months. =S.

So I just woke up, and I really thought of something. You know, I always miss the people far away from where I am but I just can't seem to bother taking up the phone, and well just messaging them. Habit I guess. It happened in Curtin, it happened in Penang. The thought of them sometimes brushes through my head but it never occured to me to try contacting them. Anyway, miss you guys from Curtin. XD. (though its just been like a few weeks since we did not see each other). Thinking of you guys everyday. (okla.....once every 2 days. XD. I'm not really good at long distance relationships ma)

And soooooooo, what did I do the last few days? Practically slack around finding jobs, going on garena, and also doing somethings that I would not like telling out. =P. Nothing much really. Weather is terrible in Penang. And it has been so hot.

Ok. Above was crappy. Here was what I did.

Went to makan Haven Delights with kc. =). LOLOL. 1 lesson learnt is never be greedy in a buffet. XD. We eat for like 2pm - 5pm. Eat till wana burst. SOMEONE summore went and ate breakfast at 11am, and say that they can still eat lots of buffet. Ended up I sapu most of the things.

Also went to learn my motorcycle. Only 1 conclusion after going past motorcar and motorbike courses. LAME. Malaysian government should just cancel of the kursus praktikal and teori. =S.
I wasted like more than 3 hours listening to an unofficial representative talking crap about how we should not drive fast. MAN! He did not even tell us much about motorbikes.

Don't let me start talking about practical. Seriously..... Out of the 17 people who went there, 4 did not know how to ride a bike. And I was one of them. So they just asked us 4 to sit down, and after we get our L only we ask them to teach. LOL. Mahai.....wasted my another 2 hours sitting there like a dumbass looking at how people ride their bikes. =S. Tolong la.....I drive the time don't know see like how many IRRESPONSIBLE L motorist simply skidding about the curb la. =S. Now we know why la.

Facial

2009-11-25T10:40:00.002+08:00

Wow....yesterday was a kind of.....funny day.

First. FACIAL is PAIN!

Now I know why women can withstand slaps better . =). Watch this video. OMG! I just love it.

I mean, guys are "tough" and "strong" but what are they compared to women? I mean, look whos bearing all the pain. Childbirth? and worse still.....facial EVERY MONTH. That's just too much for me. Asking me to go to facial once was because oh well, I thought it wasn't as pain as advertised.

But the results are okay la. I have lots of red dots now but I believe my skin will be in better condition. If within one week it gets better, haha, I'm going back for another shot. XD.

Ok...today nak buat apa lei....I ask shu shu to help me with my job d! =).

Now all I have to do is find a full time job. =P

And of course, must not forget my target of the sem. Become like Lik. XD

Inactivity Explained.

2009-11-23T21:07:00.004+08:00

Recently I have not updated my blog.

Cause I very excited and busy. XD

After coming back from Penang, of course have to celebrate by first makan Penang Food. So instead of going to the hawker, we went to this Korean Palace at Crystal Point. Haha. The food there was expensive, but quite okay considering that it is a Korean restaurant. We ate beef, and chicken, and all those unique Korean side dishes. Till today, I still feel the Korean Kim Chi that Jay made was the best I have ever tasted. (maybe caused it suited my taste. =P)

Then on Sunday, went to Penang International Bridge Marathon. Damn. I study till too blur d. I registered during test period and I thought the Fun Run category was only 3 - 5 km. Who knows turn out to be 10km. =.='' If I knew it would be so tedious, I would not go d. Oh well, it was worth the fun. XD. But I still prefer the T-shirts of the half marathon participants. They were Dry-Fit Sleeveless Shirts. XD. I want one!!!

Then Monday....gagaga....today ba. So si pek tired. Morning slept late cause Sunday's run was tiring. Went to replace my lost IC near KDU there. Took me like 2 hours. But the government staff there were so friendly it seemed like maybe 1 hour only. Service really changed my attitude towards people. Then went to RHB and Maybank to get my debit cards. =). Haha. Now I can spend again. =).

Went to JPJ and was disappointed with the service. =(. They were fast, efficient, but lacked the smile due to the tiredness I guess. I waited like 1 hour for my turn to get replace my license. And when it was my turn, "maleh" they told me I needed 2 photos and asked me to take the photos and queue up again. I just turned and left ba. Tomorrow only go settle la. Still got Alliance Bank and CIMB bank to settle summore.

When I went to QB, met Keong. Wah, he worked in this shop called Raoul. RM5/hour salary and the best thing is...no customer. XD. I went to find a job after that and applied for a Streamyx job. Just don't know whether want to accept or not. And also... I believe it would be quite challenging noting the presence of P1 and Maxis. =S.

Anyway....tomorrows activity.

FACIAL!! =).

Fear

2009-11-20T01:36:00.002+08:00

Today, we are going to talk about fear. One of human's most hateful personality.

The fear I'm going to talk about today is basically the fear of losing. Cause most of the crime cases happening occur because of the fear towards losing out.

For example,

Scams. What they really do, is turn the "fear of losing money" to become the "fear of not earning money".

Results. People will do anything just to not lose out. Office politics perhaps? Or just the normal backstabbing in schools will do.

So....why do we have the fear of losing out?

Hmmm... because we have the fear of letting our parents down? or maybe just losing your dignity? or just that because you do not like losing. The key point here is that fear never goes round by itself. It comes from a source. Either another fear, or something that has made an impact on your life.

So, to solve the problem, what we should actually do is that
1) Find the problem
2) Check out whether it is the correct problem
3) Try to face the problem
4) Just settle it

Haha. I talk so much, is because I have this fear and well, just maybe wana share it with you guys and maybe discuss a little. I have a small fear that I find really hinders my results and everything. I identified it, but somehow keep evading from my problem. I just lie to myself everytime. Any ideas?

Monday

2009-11-18T03:46:00.002+08:00

I don't know why, Monday was a day of full memories. =).

It was Lye Boon's bday~~

Wulala~~

haha. Well, all the good wishes to ALB HLW. LOL.

It was a party worth recognizing and haha, all thanks to amin.

You enjoy lei boon.....cause unlike kai chia, you like surprises. =P. *kai chia sure pout at this statement*....*nope...she will jz be like lema.....*

Anyway, it was a day full of memories.

Will never forget this day. Haha. At least the general events I guess. It was a night full of firsts.

How do you say this. I had 4 firsts on this day. Haha.

Btw, its great to walk in the rain. It just pitter patters on your body, while you feel the cold wind blowing through that fragile body of yours (for me is bulky la. XD)

Story of Fiction

2009-11-18T03:21:00.004+08:00

"dum dum dum... dum dum dum..."

The song just goes on in my heart. Non-stop. With a beat of a rhythmic techno, it just sounds right. It goes one two three four five. Dum dee dum dee dum.

Soaring through the skies with the effect of my great friend Hei, it was like forgetting everything and just concentrating on the present. The bitterness that reached my throat distracted everything away from the pain source. It just cleared out and a piece of blank occured. Suddenly, I wasn't thinking, wasn't predicting, wasn't assuming, wasn't being tense and wasn't myself. It was like being absorbed into a different dimension of multicultural beings, where mankind ceased to exist and I was the only human in there.

The feeling there, was lonely, but full of excitement. Not the fact that there wasn't any man kind in there at all, but the fact that man kind is hidden somewhere beneath the surface of all the illusions conjurations and deceptions, and it is up to me to find mankind in this unknown planet where friend or foe is unknown.

Never underestimating the course of nature, you just never know when the next tsunami will hit. You prepare yourself with underground bases, and even reinforced steel walls, with the hope that all goes well, but out of nowhere, it just goes. You die, even if your prepared. There's no other way to cheat your way out of death or even just evade the fact that, you lost to nature once again.

*Btw, if you understand this post, you are able to read me like a book. This post was just posted for my own interest. =).

Of Advises

2009-11-17T20:23:00.002+08:00

You know, I love to use self manipulatory method to shape myself. Either to make me more ruthless, or to make me more compassionate, I just love to use that method.

It works in the sense that the person you trust most is yourself, and therefore, giving advice to yourself is very very workable. The only flaw in this exercise is that sometimes we just get too emotionally attached and we fail to give the right advises. XD.

As our Guru Pitka once said before, to do anything successfully, we must sometimes obtain Distraction. XD. Recently I think I need alot of distraction. So anyone who wants to come entertain me and make my life better than the condition it is in now....haha...you are allowed to call me randomly at night or in the morning...jz to make me pissed of more. =P.

My number is 0124266098. XD

Anyway...here's a little song. Dedicated to no one. XD.

I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm
Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

My Apologies

2009-11-15T19:34:00.005+08:00

This is one of the second time that I forgot to wish someone happy bday on their bday with the reasons not being they changed their handphones, or etc etc, but actually because I just plainly forgot. =(.

Sorry kaichia. I forgot your bday and I'm sorry. I really thought it was going to be on the 24th. =S.
Extremely paise.

Anyway, happy belated birthday. =).

Somethings are too late to compensate. The hurt feelings that you inflict on one will never be forgotten. A wound can be cured, but the scar will be there forever. We all know that by doing something, we may at times hurt other peoples feelings, but what most people do not know is that, by not doing anything, it sometimes hurt worse than doing something.

I'm terribly sorry but as a compensation, this WAS my plan.

24th Nov.
1) send you a message at 11:24am wishing you happy birthday.
2) after you finish class, pick you up for fake celebration lunch.
3) would organize a surprise party for you during dinner time. (planned to ask se and sa to do so bt apparently....now failure d la.) And it was going to be steamboat too. =S
4) and yes, no bday present....the present is the surprise. (but it won't be much of a surprise cause I know you don't like SURPRISE kind of surprises. XD)

That was my small minor plan la. But apparently failed d. So......

Tak apa la.

ANyway, here's the post for your birthday...

Dear KC, you are now an official young adult (it starts from 19 not 18. XD) Congratulations for your ability to suffer the worst and enjoy the best that the world can offer you in this last 18 years. Life has not been easy on you, nor has it been really hard on you yet. Now reflect against your life, and ask yourself deep down in your heart, are you satisfied with life? Give me the answer. =)

....

So that it. Happy belated birthday once again. XD.

机会

2009-11-15T02:31:00.003+08:00

机会，失去了才知道珍贵，可惜，就是拿不回来了。

有些东西，原来一直在身边。

有些东西，不喜欢永远就不会喜欢。

有些东西，一喜欢永远就会喜欢。

有些东西，是你的就是你的。

有些东西，是无法测料到的。

有些东西，根本是没有东西。

有些东西，看起来小小，威力强大。

有些东西，看起来大大，金玉其外，败絮其中。

Tak tau mengapa

2009-11-15T01:34:00.003+08:00

Memang saya tak tau apa saya buat. 有时，再怀疑自己时，总会有救命恩人的出现。Kata saya lucky pun tidak, kata saya unlucky juga tak boleh. 我绝对相信“运”是一个predefined的东西，而“命”是自己造的。

There was an incident, I saw millions of people being put to death. It was a sad sight.

Cute kids, hot guys, sexy chicks. They were all not spared in the incident.

It just happened. They could only process what was happening for maybe 2 seconds. And the next second, they were dead.

And that was exactly what happened in 2012. XD.

哈哈。。。那些还没看二零一二的人，对不起咯~~~

我知道这个短文真的很无聊，没关系叻，因为我高潮嘛！

Naivity

2009-11-12T14:33:00.002+08:00

Naive - ity is a special kind of gift which I hope god will bless me with. I don't mean your normal kind of naive. I mean the kind of naive whereby you don't know what's happening even if it's in front of your eyes.

Life would be better if I had known less. However, life wouldn't be that interesting.

Test is almost over. Tomorrow is the last day. I know it's been a long time, so I will have to recycle thoughts and everything. Throw everything into the recycle bin. Now all I hope for is to go back to Penang, and drive my Kembara.

At times like now, the best thing to do would be to explore more, and hope that in search for something new, the old is forgotten.

EM140

2009-11-09T20:53:00.002+08:00

So today's Math Test was a relief. That's because I did not cover the last 20 chapters. =P.

Luckily Amin taught me all the essential basics in 4 hours (2 days) and I managed to go through the exam.

Anyone taking EM140 next semester can go find Amin Ahmadi for tutoring. I think 1 day full should be able to equip you with all the crap raja has been teaching for 1 semester. XD.

Amin is a better lecturer than rajalingam. XD.

ES....I'm coming. XD

Good Luck Everyone

2009-11-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

To : Curtin Students + those taking australian syllabus + SPM students + STPM students

Good luck in your coming exams. =).

May you...

Get great inspiration when you feel blank,
Get answers out of no where,
Get happy with the question,
Get the questions that you studied.

Once again, good luck.

Luck comes to those who want it. =)

Regards,
Ripalo

2 Days@@@

2009-11-06T17:50:00.002+08:00

2 days left to exam. @.@ wakakakkakkakakakakaakakas.

Left maths to study. ES almost finish. Today will complete my revision. Then do one past year. Tomorrow attack maths. XD

Twilight - Vampires - Perverts

2009-11-05T21:48:00.003+08:00

Okay...I know twilight is an old movie. But hey, I did not watch it that times because many people told me the movie sucked compared to the book.

Anyway, I watched twilight yesterday (to be specific at 1am in this morning) with my friend Amin. =).

And I did not regret it. it was OMFG great.

Lets talk about the movie. XD.

Well, the one thing I'm most attracted to is the fact that the vampire who has gazillions of desires for blood can withstand his own desires. It's like 2 different being, who are controlling themselves.

This makes me think.....

A pervert....

Group of girls....

Wow....

So in this sense, the pervert is the vampire, and he is controlling his desires. XD.

Why does everyone like vampires (or specifically robert pattinson), and hate perverts? Both obviously do harm to humans (I'm saying humans instead of female because there are also female perverts who prey for men). And both 'ave different thinking. So it must be something that attracts us to vampires kan...

After doing much research (in my own head. =P), I came out with a conclusion. That was because the vampire was hot, and perverts are not hot.

WRONG! Who said perverts are not hot. That's because perverts were put into a bad light, like how the ugly dracula became the icon for vampires.

Now now, if someone hot were to play a pervert in a movie, I guess maybe girls will fall for perverts. XD.

Tolong~~~

2009-11-03T22:43:00.002+08:00

Ok...i need help with the template stuff.

1) If I change my template...I lose my link list and I have to retype all of them. wtf. Retyping is not a problem, just tell me how to save them before I delete them.

2) I have to go and find my nuffnang ads and see where to slot them into....

3) the template that I found was quite nice sucked. It had advertisements all over...and i don't know how to delete them.

Someone teach me. XD. Refering to the person who suggested me to change. XD.

-------------------------------------------------

Updates :

How's this color? =P. Nice lei.....

I wanted to use all light pink but it seemed kind of gay to me. XD.

Going all out

2009-11-03T18:04:00.000+08:00

Okay. From 8pm onwards, I'm going all out for my exams. =)

Zhi Teng....

2009-11-02T01:35:00.002+08:00

1st of November was suppose to be Zhi Teng's birthday. Zhi Teng was my drama advisor. He died late last semester. He was my mentor.

Today when I saw his friendster notification of his birthday, a pang of sadness suddenly came into me. The joke that I saw this now...did not seem as funny as it did a few minutes back.

Thinking back, it just makes me realise. Life is short. One minute your here, the next, your gone, and all that is left is the memories you leave behind. I believe at that moment, you never want a single piece of bad memory to be in anyone's head.

So live up to life. Give back what it gave to you. Life may be short, but who cares? It's what you do with your life that counts, not how long you live it.

Joke

2009-11-02T01:31:00.003+08:00

I just saw this joke on the email. I believe most of you have most probably seen it before.

Just to release the pressure on everyone's head regarding the coming exams, let me post it here. XD.

I'm still laughing until now. It's just my weird sense of humour.

How to Stop people from bugging you to get married?
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in my ribs and cackling, telling me :"You're next". They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them during funerals.

LOL. I know this kind of joke may not be that popular with you guys. But it sure got me smiling ear to ear for several hours. =P.

Times of the Past

2009-11-01T07:11:00.002+08:00

Feeling great today! It has been a few days that I have not worked out due to the assignments and tests. However, I feel kind of relieved that finally most is over. Now all that is left is studying studying and studying. If there was one thing I could wish for right now...it wouldn't be about god giving me a complete CGPA for this test. It would be giving me more time to study.

Nothing comes the easy way. And I really want to understand the theories and everything.

-------------------------------------

If I were given a chance to go back to time to change my life, I would not do it. I know that I could have been a better person had I studied more. However, that would mean less maturity in facing the real world.

Before going into high school, my life was basically a wreak. Time would be spent by hide and seek using bicycles. It was an adrenaline pumping game which would require alertness, instinct, skill and speed. Guns were like treasures to me during that time. And basically the people I mixed with were fascinated with them too.

I still remember getting my first air gun. XD. I dunno why but I just did not have the passion of shooting cats, birds or animals. Rather, I always had a fascination of just shooting at my friends. I recall that a bullet shot from 5m could cause a bruise on the skin. I scored a few bruises everytime we finished a game. We would use the whole block and form 2 teams. The only thing we really lacked were walkie talkies.

Should not be forgotten also were the miniature fights we had. Growing up in the neighborhood of Indians and Chinese, our group consisted people from college. Normally I would just have a fight with this guy called Ah Tiong. Dunno why I damn tulan him at that time. Maybe it was just his face, or maybe because his mouth kept saying bad things. And yeah...most of the time I came out losing. XD. Oh well, all that is behind.

Sometimes I can't stop reminiscing about the past. It can't be said that my past was perfect, but I had first hand taste of what a neighborhood was. Hmmm....thinking back....I was kinda spoilt back then. XD.

-------------------------------------

Can't stop listening to David Archuleta's songs......
I love this particular one. You Can.....

Take me where I've never been
Help me on my feet again
Show me that good things come
To those who wait

Tell me I'm not on my own
Tell me I won't be alone
Tell me what I'm feeling isn't some mistake
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow
Tonight would never end

If you asked me, I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Baby, when you look at me
Tell me what do you see?
Are these the eyes of someone
You could love?

'Cause everything that brought me here
Well, not it all seems so clear
Baby, you're the one that I've been dreaming of
If anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Save me from myself, you can
And it's you and no one else
If I could wish upon tomorrow
Tonight would never end

If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
'Cause if anyone can make me fall in love

Only you can take me sailing in your deepest eyes
Bring me to my knees and make me cry
And no one's ever done this
Everything was just a lie and I know, yes, I know

This is where it all begins
So tell me it will never end
I can't fool myself
It's you and no one else

If I could wish upon tomorrow
Tonight would never end
If you asked me I would follow
But for now I'll just pretend
If anyone can make me fall in love, you can

Show me that good things come
To those who wait

Tarot Cards

2009-10-31T00:33:00.002+08:00

During Halloween, there was this tarot card reader. I myself, don't really believe in Tarot Cards.

This is because I believe in Bazi (metaphysics) and because it isn't something unexplainable by just choosing a stupid damn card.

Well, I waited 2 hours for that reader. He just read 4 people in 2 hours btw. And ended up going with friends to yum cha instead of getting my read. And just as it was my turn too. Damn 2 hours wasted.

You see, I have a way of going with destiny reading. If it foresees that I will be a great guy, it further boosts my self esteem. if it says that I will face many difficulties and stuff, haha, I have a great deal of other stuff to prove that I'm going to become a great guy in the end. So there!

I forgot whether it was Harvard or Stamford. It said something about a research done. There were 100 people in a room. 10 of them wrote that they will be great people and the other 90 just thought so in their heads. After 20 years, it was found that the salary of the 10 people were 2x more than the other 90 people. (accuracy of this is not good, just trying to rmb what terence said). So that's why you see my new profile. =)

I'm gonna be a great guy!
I'm gonna be a great guy!
I'm gonna be a great guy!
I'm gonna be a great guy!
I'm gonna be a great guy!

Happy

2009-10-31T00:25:00.002+08:00

You know...life is a circle.

You have to have negative and positive things coming out of it. After the negative things have gone through a period of time, and you have gained maturity, experience, and lessons out of it, we have to change it to become positive.

I've always implied a psychological method on myself. When I'm sad for quite some time, I will start acting happy to get my happiness back. However, too much happiness sometimes just makes me a bastard and I tend to get overexcited.

The key point is, something drove me to do something crazy today during the Halloween Party. I did some really "drunk" stuff.
1) I teased girls that I did not know.
2) I just shouted out loud practically the whole night.
3) I ran around like a child.
4) Conclusion - I was extremely childish

Maybe it was that the JCLA burden I had on my back can be put down temporarily. Maybe it was that some things were partially solved. But I know it hasn't been solved completely. Won't think of how to solve it also...coz I know the more I do, the more I wrong.

Left academic. 1 week left to study everything. I am SOOO DEAD.

Can't wait to finish exams. Then can put full work into JCLA, and prove to my family and the world, I am not a wrong investment.

Time Heals

2009-10-29T23:57:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, time doesn't heal.

Regretting doesn't change it.

The only way is to change the perception, and divert your thinking.

Boring

2009-10-28T23:55:00.003+08:00

Amin told me I was a boring guy. I do have to admit that. I talk about nothing but work, work, and work. So....how do I become an interesting guy?

My my....that's hard for me. Interesting guys chat up humour. They chat up on-the-date topics. They are not rude, and not loud. They are....interesting.

Oh well, who cares about interesting. I rather just be boring. Boring is good. Boring means calm. Boring means predictable. Boring means easy to understand (since they have less to be understood about).

And so I hereby announce that I am PROUD to be a BORING guy. =).

Wow...guess nobody ever did say that out loud. =P. There's always a first. =).

Fooh

2009-10-28T14:34:00.002+08:00

Talked to loan rep from curtin today. Lost my wallet = lost my IC, my bankcards etc. Meaning I'm so dead. So I have to write a letter and give it to the ptptn officer tomorrow. =S. Extra work.

Work work work. Non-stop work. Then after this exam, I have JCLA. My, after JCLA am I going to have a big break off by myself somewhere at god knows where. But I really feel like going traveling. Just don't know why I feel like doing it. Just want to hide out somewhere. Maybe just stay in the hotel room. Away from my cell, away from my work, away from everything. Just time for me.

It's been time since I had time for myself. Even sleep has been cruel to me. How I hope I never dream.

Anyway, the key point here is that I'm going to spend some real good quality time with myself, after all this is over. Before the end of age 19, I will be able to please myself, and make myself relaxed. Spa would help greatly I believe. =)

Complicated

2009-10-26T23:57:00.003+08:00

Things are starting to get busy at my end.

I hope that all things can go on smoothly.

I believe in the challenges that life presents to us for us to face.

I believe that there is a reason why it happened.

There are a few big changes going on in my life recently. I felt I grew up a little bit through this change of events in my life.

1) My JCLA group has changed. My new group is dedicated, has different opinions (which are good), and also have their own standings (meaning that it won't be easy for me to overrun their ideas, which I also happen to like). They are a batch of people I would like to believe what we really call JCLA students.

2) Second change in my life has made me more mature. Not really convenient to talk about it on this blog. However, the key point is, sometimes complicated things are extremely simple and I made it so complicated. If I came clean, I would have failed, but yet, I would not have "sacrificed" some innocent lambs (friends). I'm going to clear up this mistake most probably before or after the exam depending on how things turn out.

Suddenly, how I felt was no longer important. Cause I know by doing that, lots of relationships can be repaired.

3) Third change in my life is the best I have had so far. I will have to study Maths from Chapter 6, ES from Chapter 7, and Programming from Chapter 6. I'm so dead. LOL.

Oh well, I believe there's a reason fate gave me these 3 challenges all at the same time. And I just somehow have to prove to fate that, it has chosen the right person to give challenges.

Grow up Ripalo. It's time.

Issues

2009-10-26T11:14:00.002+08:00

One of the hardest issues I have faced in life is to give without expecting anything in return.

Through life,

We were told that if we studied hard enough, we could earn a decent living, or live the life like beggars. That is a misconception...but oh...the key point lies in we were studying to expect something in return.

We were told that we should do good to receive good.

Etc etc. I could go on with this chatter for one whole day without stopping.

That is why I admire those who could give, and not expect anything in return. Lifeguards, Social workers, Volunteers, they all sacrifice without expecting anything.

My life has been filled with calculations. The things that I do should supposedly have a good ROI. Maybe I should try changing a little bit of my lifestyle, just for a while, to experience, what great men and women feel like.

Mistakes

2009-10-25T01:45:00.006+08:00

Recently I also don't know what's going on with me.

Every time I try to comfort someone, I tend to hurt them more.

Probably should take a course in comforting others.

Saying sorry doesn't help.

Hypothesis : Ripalo sucks at comforting/consoling others.
Conclusion : Hypothesis has been proven.

Solution : He should do it more.
Reason : So that he will be able to comfort other people in the future.

Stakeholders : People he plans to comfort before he learns the proper method.
People he plans to comfort after he learns the proper method.

ROI (Return on Investment) Estimated : Hurt 3, Comfort Inifinity. XD.
**I don't know why I put 3 also.

Execution Plan : Start learning how to comfort people for 3 months.
Start learning how to NOT hurt people by using criticisms or sarcasms (or ghost sounds XD)

Becoming a better person. Wulala~~~

RandoM

2009-10-24T19:52:00.001+08:00

You know....I once raised an eyebrow at people who did "random facts on themselves" post.

But I think I'm going to try it out now. =). Just for the sake of experiencing the fun out of it. =)

1. I like spicy stuff.
2. I have a strong sense of like and dislikes
3. I once cried because I had only 3A's in UPSR.
4. I like to use improper ways to achieve my devilish needs.
5. I admire people who are most unlike me. =).
6. I love politics.

7. I judge people by my first impression.
8. I don't really fancy money as much as you think I do.
9. I fancy power more than you think I do.
10. I believe in our education system but it can still be improved.
11. I believe that the opposite of winning is learning.
12. The person I believe the most is myself.

13. I tend to do actions that can be misinterpreted easily.
14. I tend to speak without thinking when I'm excited.
15. I'm easily angered and agitated
16. I hate to admit my mistakes.
17. I tend to get bored of porn.
18. I lied on statement 17.

19. Sometimes I just don't know what I'm doing.

A sign

2009-10-24T19:43:00.003+08:00

I don't believe in religious issues. But one thing I believe is the presence of the subconscious mind.

Yesterday's post was a little bit over since I wrote it around 1.30am and I had a little too much alcohol. Surprisingly, my face wasn't red by the time I reached home and I wasn't drunk. Just a teeny weeny bit tired.

So yesterday's post....was it god's action? or perhaps just crap, or something from my subconscious. I prefer to say subconscious over the other things. I kind of thank god for giving me that opportunity of expressing myself in a way I myself wouldn't accept. Thinking back now with my conscious mind, I realized my post was impertinent. However, I believe that it came from my subconscious.

I know that if I never fulfill my subconscious, my subconscious will regret for life.

Today when I woke up, I told myself that I'm crazy and stupid for posting that kind of thing. I thought of removing the post. However, I made an oath to myself saying that I will never ever remove a blog post from my blog.

Also one thing to note.

I have never doubted myself.
I have never doubted my assumptions.
And I will continue to believe in myself.

I would like to thank you guys too. I know it will be hard for me to cope. But don't worry, I will survive this one. =)

Never Let Go

2009-10-24T01:16:00.002+08:00

I still remember a post about never letting go. After talking to one of my close friends, I'm just more determined to get what I want. I was told to let go.

I'm stubborn, I'm determined, and I've never believed in not getting something if you don't work hard for it. I care how long it takes. I care how far I have to go. I do care how I get it.

I will fight, and strive, for things that I believe in.

And so, I have determined 3 factors.

1) to do it in 1 year.
2) to not break any of my principles while doing it.
3) i will fight fair and square.

If I don't hit my target before 1 year, I hereby declare that I will learn how to let go...

Wulala

2009-10-23T00:42:00.003+08:00

You know the talk about :

"Live your life to the max. Don't think about the consequences. You never know when you will die, when you will be banged down by a bus like in Final Destination. Just do it"

And that kind of talk passes down....to people who are desperate, and just need a lame excuse to do something without thinking.

Truth is, the percentage of you getting banged down by a bus is lower than you getting a lottery.
And yes, you will have to be responsible for the next 50 years on the decisions you made.

So next time someone asks you to just do it, THINK before you DO. =).

This is another wulala post.

Presentations

2009-10-23T00:31:00.004+08:00

Recently have been bombarded with presentations and assignments.

Tomorrow going for my EFDP presentation on energy. Hopefully no one asks us questions too hard for us to answer.

One of the reasons I did not blog or reply anyone yesterday was because :
1) No internet
2) We rehearsed and edited our slide from 7pm - 4.45am. =). Almost 10 hours of work together lei. =) (of course got makan xiao yeh also la)
3) We presented in front of Dr. Tang and Terence around 3am. =). (Refer to Picture XD)

As if we are not busy enough.....

Suddenly JCLA talked about a group presentation on the poster presentation. =O.

My group changed from 4 people to 2 people....so.....=S.

So many things to do.

Most importantly studies cannot catch up. Still got one more week to test.

To Curtin Students : Oorah!

To Penang friends : Wulala~~ Life here is so fun. Notice my gay hair.~~ Seems like me back in form 4 right? =P

Coming up is Elaine's Birthday. =). Refer to this about the post on her birthday prep. Lazy copy paste.

ICT part 2

2009-10-22T23:59:00.003+08:00

Haha...Apparently the next day ICT unblocked my account without the need of me visiting them.

Ah, and no more feedback from them too. =(.

Tired of helping them improve themselves.

Oh well....still got lots of things to do also la... No time chai they all.

Blocked by ICT

2009-10-20T22:47:00.002+08:00

LOL. At last, the climb to the top failed and I dropped down.

I criticized too much on the internet speed to the ICT department and they blocked my account. XD.

Oh well, we do know that I'm emo these days. And with my new haircut, let me go scare the ICT department tomorrow with my lak kia face. =)

Many may say "that's what happen when you complain too much".

I say "oppression towards my rights does not make me bow down".

Here I come ICT department.

Sometimes, Always, and Usually

2009-10-20T02:13:00.002+08:00

Sometimes...

We know we have to let go,
We can't,
Yet we have to.

We try to let go,
We can't,
Yet we try to.

The harder we try,
The harder it is to let go.

Always...

There are 2 paths.
To face the fire,
And to run and hide.

To solve a problem,
And to evade it.

Usually...

You face the fire,
You get hit bad and die with honor.

You run and hide,
You stay alive, with shame, but still...alive.

You solve a problem,
And you meet another.

You evade a problem,
And meet it again.

You know it's right,
Yet the path just seems so hard to walk.

You know it's wrong,
Yet the path is a shortcut.

So I ask, what do we do when we meet such choices?
Do we take the easy path? Or do we take the hard path by solving the problem?

My Feelings

2009-10-18T13:48:00.004+08:00

I just finished watching this movie called "Love Doesn't Cost A Thing". It's kinda old and seriously I thought it was boring. Dunno why these days I like watching classic movies. They really mean alot. Maybe to most they are dull, boring and stupid. But the things they say, is really what the showbiz is all about. The movies these days are either full of actions or mushy mushy stuff with not much information and reality in it.

I know that as adults we should be flexible and tolerable to different kinds of people. try not to show out how we really feel towards them and keep things as diplomatic and peaceful as possible. I beg to differ.

Why should I smile to a person I don't really like.
When I smile, I smile with sincerity and heart.

Why should I act polite when I don't like that person?
When I respect you, I will be polite automatically and there is nothing to hide my feelings just to please others.

Haha...yeah...this post starting to get negative. But..Currently not interested in knowing whether you like negative blogs or not. ^^.

Today I'm just feeling hyper. Nothing but hyper. This post was....haha...just typed out for fun.

Sha...

2009-10-18T13:35:00.005+08:00

Sharing is caring. Thats what they say.

Love is giving. Sometimes, we love something, but in order for them to be happy, we have to give them away. Just like animals, you love them and want them to be with their parents, to learn their ways, instead of just keeping them inside a cage for our entertainment.

This few days have been thinking whether or not to go to Singapore to work or not.
Pros :
Can get more experience
Become more matured
Will be more complicated

Cons :
I am not at Penang
Feel lonely
Get homesick. Very.

Also, as you all know, I sleep talk. And occasionally I sleep walk.
Anyway, after asking a few friends about my sleep talk, I came up with a minor hypothesis.
The things I have been talking are from my unconscious side of the brain with no logical process put into it. This means that the thoughts that I say are just things I keep inside and ignore because it is too illogical and destructive.

So ignore when I sleep talk. =).

Haha...now feeling so hungry, really feel like eating something. Tonight many people are going to The Circus. I don't know why I'm not going. (Ok...i admit...I have a dozen reasons I'm not going).
Enjoy guys and ladies who are going to The Circus.

*Sometimes walls have ears* =P

Feeling kind of blank now.

Monopoly

2009-10-17T20:25:00.012+08:00

So me, boon and amin were playing Monopoly this past friday. This is the 2.5 times we played together. =). Had booze and sausages. Was fun. Hard to describe as it was fun fun fun fun fun. LOL. Its the only game that I enjoy losing in. =). It just makes me laugh I don't know why. (I lost the game for 2.5 times also)

Anyway, today (saturday), Rotaract Club had this day out with PDK. I was in charge of being the game master. And well, haha, I have to admit I kind of neglected it. I think today will be a day I will never ever forget as it is one of the days that I slacked my office position. Ah~~I learnt how terrible not planning is anyway. So I guess it's a good thing that I slacked too. =).

You know that day I was telling some people that birthdays are not important, and that what you did in that 1 year is the most important thing. Well, not to say that it is a normal day...but I prefer to celebrate birthdays for what I have done in 1 year instead of celebrating 1 year of my existence. So I thought of this myself. What did I really learn and contributed from year 18 to year 19?

October 2008
Had to prepare for A - Levels test. I remembered I wasn't really hardworking. =P.

November 2008
Basically busy for tests...so I may say that I did not have much involvement in anything.

December 2008
My second job. I got to be a promoter for CCC at the PC Fair from Dec 13 - 15. (I think). The pay I got was....221. Haha...still remember.

January 2009
Got my third job as a promoter for Eicas Maxis. Sold most Broadbands in Penang. =). Salary around 2k. ;)

February 2009
Went out with friends, gave wy the farewell. Had to find a university in 1 week. Curtin was my choice. Still haven't regretted it. Hanged out alot with Boon and Amin

March 2009
Made a bunch of great friends in Curtin. Haha. Very balanced group I would say.

April 2009
Became RA. (actually because I heard what is an RA from wy. =)) Had great fun going out with Boon and Amin.

May 2009
Built the bridge. So much effort, so little result. Haha. Nevermind ba. Good experience and also gained more friends, even with the staff.

June 2009
Exams! Interview for JCLA (10 - 15 minutes only)

July 2009
Holiday! Got to hang out with wy. KC and wy on!! Became an AMWAY member. YAY! Was invited into JCLA. Ultra Yeah!

August 2009
JCLA and Rotaract stuff. Start getting involved with PDK. Met leng lui's in my group. Obtained RM500++ in a few hours from our first JCLA fundraising! ^^

September 2009
Lots of hanging out with Angel and Lik. They had it on. JCLA problems start coming up.

October 2009
Wulala~~~Had a birthday celebration by Boon, Jun, Amin, Angel, Lik, Elaine and Jia. Ms. Nora joined in as she had the same birthday as me. =).

Lost my wallet, and some things that day.

Thinking back, I did achieve something. Lets just hope life keeps staying interesting. One year from now on, I will write a similar kind of post, and the list will be longer, and more worthy. =).

I enjoyed my 18th year. Here I come 19th.

Birthday babies of this month.
Sheng : 20/10
Ewee : 24/10

If I forgot yours then sorry.

Wulala

2009-10-15T20:22:00.002+08:00

The usual wulala ripalo is back into action. He lost many things on his birthday, but he also gained alot of things.

Anyway, I want to first officially thank my group in Curtin for helping me organize a BDAY PARTY!!! Sorry for not posting this earlier...=(. The emo-ness was just too strong.

I was touched and really surprised by the event. I even wore my pajamas to the party. =P
And thx for the presents. The boxers you guys gave me...haha...will see when to wear la. But most probably go back to Penang only wear. XD. You guys don't get to see me in boxers unless you all come to Penang. =P. Special case for Angel...since you cannot come to Penang, got SPECIAL treatment. haha. Everytime I wear my boxers, I will tell Lik. And as a compensation for not seeing mine, you get to see his. XD. XD. XD.

Wulala~~~

Pooolala

2009-10-14T23:55:00.001+08:00

Some of us have visions and targets of our own.

And most of us fight for them, because we have a reason, a belief, and a hope to.

Have you ever felt the feeling of going into the fight, knowing that you only have 5% chance of succeeding, yet still go for it? Well, the start of that feeling is great. You feel energized, and full of spirit. Then the more you fight for it, the more you notice, that the 5% chance you thought you had, was never there all the time. You were fighting a solo and pointless fight, which would have no result, no happy ending.

Most people would give up. yet, there are few who would still go for it. Fighting for their belief, even though they know that they will fail.

I knew one of the guys that went on and on without stop. His result : failure and self destruction

I knew a girl that did that. Her result : happiness

Now I'm at that cross road. I have decided to leave the path. For the sake of myself, and for everone else. I will wait till it has rained over, then maybe, just maybe, I will go and try that path again. As for now, I hope to be like everyone, finding another path to run off to so as to forget the old path I took. It won't be easy. The hard part has just started. I just hope it ends soon.

I just want to run away from all of this pain.

No mood to wulala.

Business vs. Life

2009-10-14T08:31:00.003+08:00

I noticed that business and life are same.

For example...Studying.

You study hard. You get good results.
You work hard, you earn more money.

You study hard, but you suck at your results.
You work hard, but since you used the wrong method, you earned less money.

You don't study but you score in results.
You invested in the right stock market.

Another example...Relationships.

You like him/her. Him/her doesn't like you.
You are selling this product, your customer doesn't like your product.

You like him/her. Him/her likes you too. So both of you come together.
You are selling this great product, and your customer likes it. So you give him/her this discount.

You don't like him/her. Him/her doesn't like you as well.
Mutual understanding. =). Very good.

Of Decisions~

2009-10-09T02:04:00.006+08:00

The only way to get to the bottom of things, is to find out the answer by asking, then analyzing.

Problem now, is by asking, I may risk losing something else.

By not asking, the question will be there (because I still have a small hope out there).

Should I get to the bottom of it, or should I dig deeper then only ask?

Time Again

2009-10-05T19:03:00.002+08:00

Today I went early to uni. Class started at 11. I went at 8. And did not regret it. =).

It's nice to sit with my gang and do my homework. =). Just feel comfortable. So after that, went for Programming class but apparently just continued to do my ES homework. =S. Total I used 6 hours on my ES homework from Sunday to Monday. =S.

After that was the main event of the day~

Jenny Ling was so kind to send me to PDK Miri. She obviously did not need to do so but she did it. Thanks Voon Fung (Wen Fung...hope I gt the name correct) for being the navigator!

After that, I managed to bring them into PDK to see disabled people. I don't know whether it's the first time they saw disabled people or not, but I think I opened their eyes a little. right?

Well, the main event of that day was to follow the Home Program for PDK. The Home Program is a special program whereby PDK reaches out to disabled who find it inconvenient to go to PDK. Usually they are teenagers like us, but because of their weight, are not able to go to PDK for treatment/training.

The trip was conducted using this very very very and oh..did i emphasize very? ancient car. We went to 3 people's house today.

First was Ah Fook. He was this talkative but shy kid who had cerebral palsy. His family except him was ok. So Cikgu Meg and this beautiful Bidayuh assistant which I forgot to ask her name massaged him so that he had better blood circulation etc.

Basically the day was filled with visiting people and massaging them. Usually the trips lasted roughly around 10 to 15 minutes. However, I noticed the kind of smile on the faces of the family members when we visited them. They were filled with hope, gratitude, and happiness.

Having a disabled and caring for him/her lovingly is something not easily done. You must be patient and not agitated. However, having the society to care for you really proves what humankind is. It helps a lot knowing that other people support your situation.

Mooncake Festival Ghost

2009-10-04T16:29:00.008+08:00

Yesterday was Mooncake Festival. It was nice. The moon was bright, and it even had an aura around it. Note the circle (most probably cloud effects nya). Anyway, uni had this festival going on with about 100 participants. However, my destiny was to not be at school.

So we went to Jun's house to celebrate lo. Together with boon, elaine, the lik and angel couple, amin and yixin. Also present was my good friend. The moon. The walk was interesting, but I still insist it would be more interesting if ghost stories were told.

Ghost stories may not seem the occasion. But everything fits. The dark streets, 8 people without beams and only visible with their flickering lanterns, the quiet night, and the best part of it, a bright moon to shine weird shapes of shadows onto us.

Anyway, after we finished our lantern walk, it was time for me to go back to lakeside. So i walked and walked and walked the whole 30 minutes of it back.

And here, was one of the times of life, that you get to think of something.

Why are people scared of ghosts

Place : Road back to Curtin
Time : 12.05am - 12.30am
Occasion : No street lights at all. Only one bright moon to shine my way.
Position : Alone. No passerby.

The sounds of crickets and toads came alive. I was staring into a black forest. The worst thing, I had to do it alone.

At that moment, I suddenly knew why people were afraid of the dark. To be truthful, I was quite afraid too. I was afraid of drunk drivers who would run me down.

During this period, I suddenly thought up a way to make people scared of ghosts not scared of ghosts anymore.

1) Always imagine you know everything in the dark.
You know they are insects, and you know it is dark. and you know there are no ghosts.
You seen the ghost before? You heard it call you? The ghost got touch you?

2) Imagine me by your side. =P.
Haha. I laugh so loud and weird, ghost also scared till run away la.

3) Think of other things.
I like this the best. Think of the person you like, and well, maybe just imagine he/her is just in your heart, following and supporting you at all times. =).

Oh btw, ghosts can go through everything. Meaning they cannot touch you, nor can they throw things at you. Since they go through everything, ghost cannot make sounds, cause sounds are vibrations made by movement of SOMETHING solid, like sound waves. In short, there are ghosts around us, but they make no sound, and don't touch you. =).

Ghosts are friendly. =)

The Story of 4 Brothers

2009-09-30T00:38:00.002+08:00

The Story of 4 Brothers

A dream far away~
A passion way beyond~
A thrive for victory~
A vision of love~

Dreams float, waiting for us to capture them. Even in the middle of the night, when you feel lost and hopeless. Something floats, and tells you to keep awake. (no...i'm not telling a ghost story)

Passion, is not always shown. It may be hidden, with good intention. People who show passion, not necessarily have it. People who do passion, most certainly have it.

Thrive will be our line to success. We grow, fast, faster, and fastest. (I know the grammar sucks..bt this is not a time to tell me that)

Vision will fly. It will take you far to a place rarely anyone has been.

Dreams, Passion, Thrive, and Vision. These 4 brothers work hand in hand. Without the help of passion, thrive will be shortlived. Without the help of dreams, vision will be shortsighted. without vision, thrive and passion will be pointless.

Let's work hand in hand, like the 4 brothers, who have always been there, telling us at night that tomorrow will be a better day.

Of Mooncakes and Maths. T.T

2009-09-28T17:00:00.003+08:00

Wulala~~~

Today T.T (Tun . Ten) gave me this mooncake complete with a note. So Sweetx lei. =). Thanks T.T. =)

Next up, I have to start going to lectures! I have downloaded like 2gb worth of lectures for me to ban ban watch. Looks like tonight I'm going to watch series d. =). Maths series. Hopefully it's not too boring and I will not focus on other better series. =)

Once again, thanks T.T for your mooncake. =)

Wulala~~~

Chill and Will

2009-09-24T14:10:00.003+08:00

Chill....chill....relax....relax....

船到桥头自然直

哈哈...

Learn to let go. Learn to focus. Learn to concentrate. =D.

I can do it. =)

Song -=Never Let Go=-

2009-09-21T02:25:00.002+08:00

I just watched Guardian for the 3rd time, and this song really really touched me to the bottom of my heart. I don't think I can ever be as noble as them.

Can you lay your life down, so a stranger can live?
Can you take what you need but take less than you give?
Could you close everyday without the glory and fame?
Could you hold your head high when no one knows your name?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say

We say goodbye but never let go
We live, we die 'cause you can't save every soul
Gotta take every chance to show that you're the kinda man
Who will never look back, never look down and never let go

Can you lose everything, you ever had planned?
Can you sit down again and play another hand?
Could you risk everything for the chance of being alone?
Under pressure find the grace or would you come undone?
That's how legends are made, at least that's what they say?

We say goodbye, but never let go
We live, we die 'cause you can't save every soul
Gotta take every chance to show that you're the kinda man
Who will never look back, never look down and never let go

Never let go, never let go, never let go
Gotta take every chance to show that you're the kinda man
Who will never look back, never look down and never let go

We say goodbye but never let go
We live, we die but you can't save every soul
Gotta take every chance to, show that you're the kinda man
Who will never look back, never look down and never let go

Will never look back, never look down and never let go
Never let go, never let go, never let go

I just feel touched. Still sleeping at 3am in the morning. =.=''

To Do Lists

2009-09-20T14:04:00.002+08:00

To Do List :

Study Mathematics (which I did not do in the previous to do list)

Set up JCLA meetings from the start.

Come out if the JCLA poster.

Study ES AC part. (I really don't have a clue what naing was talking about)

Project J must be initiated and discussed among team members. To be decided whether to close down operation or continued.

Start time boxing.

Have to come out with a good EFDP report or whatever.

Halloween things.

Learn how to cope with self control on emotions.

To Penang Friends

2009-09-20T13:11:00.002+08:00

Guys from Penang, here is something you would understand perhaps....

Life here has been good. ("ish..yeah right...wait till you hear about some of his problems":kc&wy). JCLA has been going okay, Rotaract Club has agreed to help me, studies are starting to flunk (thanks to my good old time management), and well money is still under control.

Money is the least of my worries now. =) (big change huh...)

KS has gone to somewhere far far away, together with yangx2. So sad actually. Because my internet sucks and I can't get to msn them.=.='''. JY lei...has gone to somewhere far also, but at least nt as far as both of the above. Then JR, SD, and bra bra arent really that far away. Joshua...tsk tsk...won't get to see him for a long long time too.

To KS : Find a girl friend there so you won't get bored. (KS is the most pitiful guy...no malaysian friends there)
To WY: Find a girl friend there but don't get caught.
To JY : Don't start finding for a girl friend there, unless shes Malaysian.
To SD : Yeah...time to start finding for a girl friend there.
To Bra bra : If you do not have 3 girl friends by now, I would be surprised.
To JR : Girls would horde you for your cuteness. Just pick one.
To Josh : *Speechless*
To Teddy : Rach**~~~ LOL! (So long already so I thought I would say it out). =P
To KC : You got bf d. So....
To Soony : SE would kill me if I ask you to do anything.

Okla...now have to go my lecturer's house celebrate "selamat~~~ hari raya~~~"

Sorry

2009-09-18T00:48:00.000+08:00

Sorry?

I'm really sorry.

I shouldn't have done it.

Sorry.

Forgive me? I promise I will never do that again. okay?

Down

2009-09-14T23:51:00.011+08:00

Down, Bottom

The words sounds negative. But is it?

When you are at the bottom, the good thing is that you cannot get any lower.
When you are at the bottom, it just means you have nothing to lose.
When you are down, it shows your ability in handling different kinds of cases.

Down and Bottom are not negative words. They are positive words.

Everyone starts from the bottom before they reach the top.
Behind every successful person comes a down history.
Without being at the bottom, you will never be at the top.

Love down, love bottom. They make you stronger every single time you get to know them better.

Jia you!

Randome~ Postse

2009-09-11T00:11:00.004+08:00

These days have been wierd. With the test coming right up the doorstep, I'm kind of worried, but kind of doing nothing. Electrical systems is a bothers, but then again, it is cool and interesting. Really love it actually, but sometimes it just gets very very confusing.

Physics test was okay. It should be okay. Considering the fact that I actually STUDIED for it. I planned to just go in and take the test since all the assignments were so easy. Lucky for me, I studied. Apparently, it was not as easy as I thought.

Talking bout my social life here....well....

lets just say elaine gave me this very very cool facial cleanser and refining cream. It's called DERMEDEX. I'm trying it out. If it's good, perhaps I will buy more. It's like RM22/week. And as usual, kc said it was expensive. Maybe I'll consider buying her one as her bday gift. *shit...spoiled the surprise eh*

Thanks Elaine.

To students

2009-09-09T20:23:00.002+08:00

It is not our job to be the first.
It is our job to be at our best.

Jia you...curtin and stpm students. =)

Sleep

2009-09-06T23:32:00.001+08:00

Really tired. Sometimes, I just feel like lying down and blank for 1 whole day. I need a rest. I want to stop working. Just for 1 day. Maybe after test. I want to rest my tired body. Its very tired.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

going to sleep d. nitex.

Using Money

2009-09-03T23:35:00.002+08:00

You know many of us always think about how to earn money. But the problem is, do you know what you are earning the money for?

My opinion is that majority people are just earning money so they can prove how successful their life is. They use money as a measurement of their success. But is that worth the trouble? Sacrificing family time, time with friends, time for your own self. All these just to SHOW people how rich you are?

It occured in my mind what I would do if I had 1 million in my hands for me to use. For myself, I'm pretty sure I'm satisfied enough with the 2k amount my mom put into my bank account for my living expenses. There is the saying that money wll never be enough. But is that true?

If I have 1 million, the first thing I would do, would be to give my parents back the 400k I owe them for my 18 years expenses. Then I will leave 200k for myself (my lao po ben 老婆本). The other 400k, I will most probably use to set up a permanent organization to help people get jobs. In a way, a job seeking agency which runs on charity. This way, it will result in a reduction of the unemployment rate and lower the rate of crimes.

I know what I want to do with my money. Do you?

Balls

2009-09-01T00:05:00.001+08:00

There was once 2 balls, who stayed together for more than 18 years. One day, 1 of them suddenly disappeared. Then after 10 minutes, it reappeared.

*Just a story to wy,kc, b, *

The Moon

2009-08-26T22:22:00.002+08:00

The moon was kind of bright tonight.

I spent yesterday and today morning going to this Bintulu Site Visit. It turned out I got more than I could wish for. Don't misunderstand me, I learnt almost NOTHING from the site visit. But during the time we were in this "never-stop-shaking-bus" and in the hotel, I learnt quite alot.

I came to know about who handsome Gan is...
I also started to get more deeply involved in "emo" state. (wy and kc should know)
I got to talk to Ewee's mom. =). (Believe me, shes very very very cool...can act as super-spy-mom summore)
Got to hang out with B.J.E. and understand them better. =).

During the stay in Bintulu, we went to this crazy place called Chicken Buffet. You have to pay RM19 (for adults) and you can eat all the chicken you want. I still feel their apple pie is the best. =).
If they ever open a branch in Penang, it would earn like millions by the end of the year. And they also have to open maybe 2 Seoul Garden space?

Anyway, kind of tired now. Tomorrow have to go talk with the Bowling manager and then headed off to Kuching.

ARGHHH..din study anything lei. *guilt*

Daily post.

2009-08-24T22:09:00.019+08:00

Today feel so sick. Slight fever ba. Don't know why can like that also. Never knew myself to be such a weak guy. =P.

Anyway, just for past updates.
I successfully :
1) did sit ups continuously for 3 weeks with only a break of 3 days. =). Now can do 80 times d. Just need another 1.5 weeks to reach 100 times.
2) eat less.

I failed :
1) to weightlift continuously.
2) spend less
3) change bad habits.
4) to stop using the computer.
5) to follow up with my organizer.

Plan :
1) to train basketball at least twice a week by myself.
2) spend less (budget control)
3) start by not being so sarcastic (with the help of KC. =P)
4) use less of the computer

To do list :
1) Finish physics lab report.
2) Understand programming completely.
3) Study finish the maths that I don't understand.
4) Organize my time table before school starts.
5) Start up a committee for my JCLA inclusive of rotaract members.
6) Plan for a log book for JCLA group.
7) Complete the proposal for bowling competition.
8) Contact Elaine's friend on the AIDS thing. Meaning I will have to go back home later d. =(. Won't be able to go to APRRC.

Finally, yesterday was my mom's birthday.

Happy birthday Mom!~

TOmorrow going to Bintulu site visit. Hurray~!

2009-08-23T00:25:00.002+08:00

Today feel glad that we went out to do some activities. =).

We went to the movies, became gossip girls, and also watched another movie while exploring some girl's hideouts. =P.

That girl's house was soooooooo really cool that I was impressed at the hideouts she had. She had this really cool attic where they had a bookrack of mangas. OMG!! I'm not a big fan of mangas, but her collection just stunned me. It looked like the "so homely" rooms on TV. And talking about TV. They had TWO plasmas. TWO!!!

When I have my house, I'm going to make it as homely as possible. *thinking about future*

Anyway, we watched this movie called obsessed. Conclusion : That guy was a typical guy. And to be truthful, if I met his situation, I may or may not control myself. =). Depends on how doting my gf is or whether I'm single ba. =P. But mostly I'm confident I would be able to control myself ba.

Thx for the day or guys and gals. Really enjoyed it. Thank you ah Ten for the hospitality and ah Lik for the transport and fun!. Tun, Lai Wen, and Tian Shi, and everyone else, thanks for the happy day you guys gave me. =)

My past died. All woo the new guy!

2009-08-20T21:59:00.003+08:00

The old me.

He was weak. Physically and mentally.
He was too sarcastic. Everytime.
He was too pessimistic. That he had a negative aura around him.
He was evil. He thought to much about hurting others.
He was selfish. He rarely thought of others.
He was annoying. Most of the time.
He gave lectures. To everyone but himself.

The old me caused me to lose many things. I guarantee to myself, I will not want to experience something like that ever again.

The new me.

He should be strong. Physically and mentally.
He should tease less. And encourage more.
he should be more positive thinking. To promote improvement.
He should be less evil. And think more about loving others.
He should be selfless. To promote love throughout the world.
He should be interesting. So people don't get bored to death.
He should give lectures. More to himself.

I will start to change. I can't promise you that I will change instantly. But know that I'm working on it now, day and night, to become the ideal person that will contribute back to the society.

One for all, and all for one.

您

2009-08-20T02:47:00.000+08:00

我会用永远永远的记住您。。。

Back into the Grey Area

2009-08-19T23:31:00.002+08:00

Back again. I don't care about the consequences already. I'm going all the way. where I hope to be at. Aiming at one target and only one target. Looking at only the good while overlooking the bad.

I wanna tell her that I love her but I lose my nerve, every time I see her,
My tongue gets tied and I’m lost in the words, every time I see her.
I wanna hold her but I lose my grip, every time I see her,
I fall in love coz I always drift, every time I see that girl.

Just let the wind blow,
Let the rivers flow,
Hope that friendship doesn't wail,
Even when love fails.

Did not know I could get so poetry. =S

To WY...

2009-08-18T02:33:00.002+08:00

I think maybe I'll just forget about it. You know, thinking back now, it's too big a difference in personality. Also, the fact that all the assumptions made were just assumptions. I decided to not even start from the grey spot anymore.

Let the dream die down. It will hopefully. After all, it won't be too long before I won't be seeing her for a very very long time. Let time wash the feeling away and hope it goes. Too many complications and too many risks. Should i take it or should I not? Everytime I think of myself letting go, there's this inner-side of me that tells me NOT to give up and it forces me to go back into the first step I was in.

My personality is to love to challenge the impossible. That's one of the reasons I cannot let go, even though I know its impossible. But this kind of attitude has to go. I have to let go~ I have to let go~.

The truth is : I'm a coward.

It's 3am and i still can't sleep. So wtf right now. I should really get myself sleeping pills. You should get some too...the calling you issue may happen in a more frequent way.

The Start of a New Era

2009-08-18T01:59:00.002+08:00

Something ends and something starts. It's only normal that the laws of the world are obeyed by all. Murphy's Law is one of the greatest law ever introduced to man that it still stands as it is today.

We are always bound to get somethings wrong. But whatever it is, I swear with my pink little heart that I must never ever run away from the truth. Ever heard that the scariest things on earth are the unreveiled truths? Well, now you heard it. Sometimes when you know you are wrong, you get that immediate instict to blame others without thinking about blaming yourself. Well, that's what I would do on instinct. When people grow up, they sometimes conceal these kind of feelings and its hard to see them expressed in that kind of way.

Confronting myself : I don't know.

I'm actually scared of the fact that i don't know about the things I'm thinking. It's all an assumption and just one shot at that piece of glass can render the whole window panel useless. An inner look into my heart will show you that a debate is going on "terence style". Shooting down every illogical thinking that maybe still in my heart, the heart still goes on singing in it's loudest voice "I don't believe you".

It's what people call, lying to yourself.

Now I understand what they were saying in movies.

Happy Day!

2009-08-15T20:15:00.005+08:00

Today is a happy day!

Curtin Race --> Citrus --> Bintang Bowling. =)

We ran the race, like how you would see on TV. We went to ONE wrong place. I had a feeling we were One. Too bad we did not win any prize.

Kudos to ALB and Ewee for decorating our T-shirts. Thx to JuN for styling our hair (actually she was being an apprentice =P). Kudos to the Green Team who went all-out for the competition. Really had no regrets working with you guys.

One of the best things was actually the fact that we came in FIRST!!!. haha. Too bad come in first doesn't contribute to any marks. =(.

Have got to say that at least today, I could sweat out all my pressure that has been building since the start of JCLA. I HATE PEOPLE WHO PROCRASTINATE FOR MORE THAN 2 WEEK AND STILL COUNTING. I could just run and jump around (like a lil. kid =P)

The bowling part was also quite fun! We were divided into 2 groups. BoonJunEwee, AngelLickMe. The happy thing is that OUR GROUP WON!!!! The not-so-happy thing is that we only won by 3 marks. the very-funny-thing was I just saw the angel lick me sentence. =P To make things clear. it should be angel-lick-me or me-lick-angel. Damn, still sounds so wrong worh. okla. Me-angel-lick. =P. Just jk ba...dun be offended k? =P

After that we went to find for hp~~~. That lao ban so rude wor~~~ Discount rm5 also tak mau bagi, summore want to give me display unit quietly wor~~~ So although show him money, i still din buy~~~~ Wulala~~~ (torturing people seems to be like my hobby now)

Fadzai still hasn't given me her accounts till this day. Getting terribly sick of her fucking attitude by now. Maleh....and I ask her to use my comp to do, she just says she wants to use her comp (in ICT lab). Now's shes playing facebook. I bet myself, she can't finish her work by today. Or i tok tiao.

Perfection

2009-08-12T23:33:00.002+08:00

We aim for perfection.

Although we have different goals, but we strive for perfection.

We will not settle for anything less than the first spot.

Nothing will stop us. Nothing will hinder us. We will move forward, bravely fighting through the waves that push us back. We will not run. We will not hide. We will continue with our pursuit and win our trophies, all for one, and one for all.

Pressure Relieve

2009-08-12T23:25:00.002+08:00

At last, the tension is over. 3 of us have finally spoken out to each other. Now I feel I still can't sleep at 1am, but at least when I sleep, I have no worries of waking up so early. =).

I love problems, they are better than unknowns.

Embrace the problem, love it, and then solve it.

Before you know it, another problem comes up, and you treat it the same way as you did to his relative.

This year will be full of solving problems. =) YIPPEE!!!!

Cheers everyone....Cheers!